When I encourage persons to look for ways to generate extra income, I often get the response that although they may have some great money-making inspirations, they are afraid of the possible reaction that they will get from friends and colleagues.
One of the biggest deterrents to creativity is our fear of being criticised, and this can cause us to abandon good opportunities to earn. In Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams
Words can bring long-term hurt
Why do we avoid criticism like the plague, sacrificing the potential gain that may be our reward for trying something new? The simple answer is that being criticised hurts.
Our subconscious will always seek to circumvent situations that bring us pain. If we try to put ourselves into positions that may lead to more suffering, our brains will work assiduously to prevent us from getting hurt.
Think back to your childhood years. Can you remember being criticised and how you felt after receiving these words of disapproval? You may have heard comments such as “You’re wrong,” “You don’t have what it takes to do that,” “Don’t be stupid,” “Why aren’t you as smart as your friends?” and many other negative statements over the course of your life.
The passing of time often does little to dull the memory of hearing those hurtful words long ago. In fact, Scott declares that criticism can be one of the most destructive forces in your personal and professional life. “You constantly adjust your behaviour, not to achieve what’s in your best interest,” he reveals, “but rather to simply avoid being criticised.”
In history, many great innovations and ideas that could have improved the world have been stillborn because their inventors were too scared to proceed because of this debilitating fear. So if words of disapproval can have such a devastating impact on our mental, emotional, physical and financial well-being, how can it be possible to harness this negative energy and use it for profit?
Turn your fear into your friend
Scott shares the good news that there is a way to “completely overcome the negative impact of anyone’s criticism and completely defeat any negative consequences it may have in your life.” His method of turning around criticism can help to liberate you from “self-imposed restraints” and allow you to become all that you are destined to be in life.
Scott asserts that you have a choice in allowing criticism to be your conquering enemy or your supportive ally. His solution to breaking the hold of the fear of censure on your life is to risk facing it. If you try to avoid it, defend yourself against it, or just ignore it you may prevent hurt feelings, he explains, but you will never be able to use criticism to advance your levels of achievement.
The secret to turning criticism into your friend is to adopt a different approach to any negative comments that you may receive. You need to analyse the critical words to determine their source, their accuracy and your own response to them. If you can carry out this process each time you are criticised, then Scott maintains that you will become a stronger and more accomplished person.
When confronted with criticism, Scott advises that you try not to immediately react, defend or go in attack mode. Instead, you must first say to yourself, “I’ll take that into consideration”. You need to consider the source from which the comments are coming, as well as the truth of the statement in order to formulate an appropriate response to what you have heard.
Considerations about criticism
For example, let’s say that you share your brilliant idea to generate part-income with a colleague at work. Unimpressed, your co-worker replies, “That won’t work; nobody will pay you for that product and you’ll probably lose all the money you invested in it.” You could choose to become deflated and give up, or you could use Scott’s strategy to evaluate the criticism.
Think first about the source of the comment. In this scenario, you recognise that your colleague always has a problem for any solution, and moreover, she has never tried an entrepreneurial venture in her life. Since she is a perennial naysayer and completely inexperienced in business, is she really qualified to give you a critique on your initiative?
Then you need to consider the accuracy of the statement. Scott discloses that criticisms often have a nugget of truth that can help you to improve your behaviour, attitudes or ideas. In our example, the negative comment could allow you to recognise that you need to get expert advice from an experienced business owner to ensure that your concept is feasible and potentially profitable.
So, by checking the source and accuracy of critical comments, you can effectively control your response to negative words. This process of analysis can help you to become wiser and to accomplish greater things as you journey along the pathway to success.
Copyright © 2012 Cherryl Hanson Simpson. No reproduction without written consent.
Originally published in The Daily Observer, June 21, 2012
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Cherryl is a money coach and business mentor, and founder of Financially S.M.A.R.T. Services. See more of her work at www.entrepreneursinjamaica.com and www.financiallysmart.org. Contact Cherryl