After the thrill of the wedding ceremony has faded and the fantasy of the honeymoon is over, newlyweds must adjust themselves to the routine of marriage. Unlike storybook romances in which the couples live ‘happily ever after’, newlyweds often find that this period brings many challenges.

In Genesis 2:24, it declares that “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This speaks to a concept of togetherness in which both parties in the marriage are thinking, planning and acting in one accord for the good of the family.

In an ideal marriage, couples would genuinely leave their self-interest outside the door, and work selflessly for each other once they cross over the threshold. Individuals would look out for their spouses when making plans for the future, and any decisions made would benefit them both.

Welcome to the real world of marriage

While there are couples who eventually have been able to achieve unity in all aspects of their relationships, many people will initially have difficulties in creating a harmonious merger of their two worlds. This is especially true when it comes to finding ways to amalgamate their finances.

Experts in relationship matters will concur that arguments about money often arise within marriage. In fact, money disagreements can be a major source of destructive conflict in most relationships, and financial strife has been responsible for the dissolution of many marital unions.

We have largely been socialised to view our money matters as private, so when two people are forced to share their financial affairs it can lead to secrecy, distrust, and dishonesty. Despite these issues, it is possible for couples to develop a financial arrangement that works for both of them.

Find a common ground

To achieve a harmonious money relationship, newly married couples should recognise that both parties need to agree on the best way to manage the family finances. This requires mutual respect and a willingness to collaborate and compromise on financial decisions that need to be made.

It’s advisable for both parties to have an open discussion about their money situations. If either spouse has past financial indiscretions such as bad debt, these should be revealed early in the marriage, or even before. Honesty about money is essential to set a foundation of trust for the marriage.

Couples should share their plans for the future, set goals such as the timeline for buying a home, and discuss how best to save and invest to attain these objectives. Once they agree on where they want to go, then it will be easier for them to find the right way to manage their money together.

Choose a management style

In the perfect marriage scenario, it would make sense for couples to completely merge their funds. They would pool their incomes, operate joint bank accounts and pay all their bills from one source. The theory is that unification would bring peace and harmony in the home with regards to money.

However, if two people have different money management styles or individual financial goals, it may be difficult to combine their money in this way. Therefore, couples would need to determine the best way to handle shared expenses, while preserving some amount of financial independence.

Couples should use a budget to record their household and personal expenses, and calculate whether there is sufficient income to meet these costs. Then, they should choose an appropriate method of dealing with their obligations to ensure that both parties’ financial requirements are met.

For example, they may decide to split shared household expenses equally, select specific costs that they will cover, or pay bills proportionately according to income. With these arrangements, the couples may agree to hold separate bank accounts and take care of their own personal expenses.

Be aware of legal matters

It’s also important for couples to recognise the legal considerations of merging their lives together. There are various laws that govern marital matters including property ownership, financial provision for spouses, and division of assets in the event of the dissolution of the union.

For example, in Jamaica, spouses may be legally entitled to own a share in the property that has been utilised as the matrimonial home, even if their names are not on the title. This provision is not limited to persons who are legally married, as the common-law union is recognised in this country.

Couples should also ensure that they make plans to financially protect the family in the event of eventualities such as illness, bankruptcy or death. Some of these strategies may include buying health and life insurance and preparing legal documents to pass on their possessions.

The reality is that even when couples reach an agreement on financial strategies for their family, they will probably encounter challenges over time. They can resolve money issues by learning lessons from their errors, forgiving their mistakes, and keeping focused on the family’s goals.

Copyright © 2015 Cherryl Hanson Simpson. No reproduction without written consent.

Originally published in The Daily Observer, June 18, 2015.

DON’T MISS MY NEXT ARTICLE! CLICK BELOW TO RECEIVE IT IN YOUR EMAIL:

Cherryl is a money coach and business mentor, and founder of Financially S.M.A.R.T. Services. See more of her work at www.entrepreneursinjamaica.com and www.financiallysmart.org. Contact Cherryl